Alternate Title

Retirement Plan for 2022:

A Letter to my Accountant

My entire working life

I put not a cent

Into a retirement fund.

I never saw a point in it.

What good was saving

I need that money yesterday

But more than that

I didn't see myself

Ever having the opportunity

To look at a version of myself

30 years in the mirror

6 months and we'll all know together

Whether I was dumb

Or just plain stupid

Thinking on it critically

Since I spoke

So little on the subject

30 years of silences

Makes it plain to see

At the very minimum

I was dumb all along.

180 days of my own

Personalum

Medium Annus

One I made my self.

Sorry for the suffering I've caused along the way.

There's been a lot.

Time sure flies.

I'll get better.

I'll get better.

I'll get better

And then I'll pass.

As do we all.

They lie to you when they tell you

"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right."

That mentality was a trap

One set for me

And other "gifted" to believe

That only Perfection is valid.

Only Perfection is competitive.

"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly."

That was the spell that illuminated

The jaws

The hinges

The lock

And the chain

I could see the path I walked clearly

That allowed me to succumb

To such a common

Plebian

Mundane pit fall

I can see it all

But not the key

And I'm tired.

Every effort to climb out

Was done for years

Still wearing a chain I couldn't then see

And now that I see it

I'm tired.

My ankle feels fine inside this cruel metal mouth

The uneven spiked floor, a more comfortable cot

Than the walls I still have to climb to get the fuck out

Just pass me some water now and then

Make sure I have my pills too

And when I wake up, I'll still be here

I don't blame you

For moving on

We only have time

After all

For those

That can help themselves

As the minimum bar for giving help

And since that's not me

I'm fine to bid ado

If this was my final Spring

It's been the best I've ever had

What delights will I know

Come Winter